Interview with a computer generated cop
INTERVIEW WITH THE STAR OF THE "HANDS TIED" CAMPAIGN BY RPOA AGAINST MEASURE II IN AUTUMN 2004:
HOST: Hi and welcome to our show. Here as our guest, is Officer "Hands Tied" who was the poster child and role model of the RPOA's controversal ad campaign it ran during this past election. He is here to answer questions about what the RPOA hoped to accomplish through scaring the voters to vote against Measure II.
OFFICER: I object to you using the 'scare' word. We are here to enlighten and inform the public through any means necessary.
HOST: Okay. Enlighten then. What message did you hope to enlighten the voters with?
OFFICER: That you vote our way, or don't count on us coming to your house in any rush when crime comes to you or your family's door. In 1999, we didn't make unnecessary arrests because we felt like we had to make some sort of political statement that if you fire white officers especially for killing an NHI...excuse me, Black person, the city will pay.
HOST: Are you aware that the State Attorney General might be paying attention?
OFFICER: That Carpetbagger from the North? Not at all. We're just biding our time until he is gone and then it will be business as usual in the streets of Riverside.
HOST: You know, I can't see why Measure II passed. No I can't.
OFFICER: Me neither. *scratches head* It's those hippy commie free lovin' bastards that are ruinin' our city....
HOST: Tell us a little bit about yourself. About your background. How long have you been a cop?
OFFICER: (pauses) I don't know. All I know is that I opened my eyes, looked down and my hands were tied up with rope.
HOST: Had you been drinking?
OFFICER: No!
HOST: Got yourself into a situation you couldn't handle?
OFFICER: No! I was sent here to send a message. Mess with the RPD cops' right to not be accountable to the public and you won't get a cop at your door when you need one.
HOST: Like that woman who was abducted in her own garage and raped despite triggering her alarm for help, just because she didn't pay the $25 permit fee to the city?
OFFICER: I have no knowlege of that.
HOST: How have response times been since you lost the ballot measure?
OFFICER: I don't know. I'm just here to send a message. You'll have to take it up with my union.
HOST: Would that be the Screen Actors' Guild...Or the international fellowship of computer generated workers?
OFFICER: *SHRUGS*
HOST: Hi and welcome to our show. Here as our guest, is Officer "Hands Tied" who was the poster child and role model of the RPOA's controversal ad campaign it ran during this past election. He is here to answer questions about what the RPOA hoped to accomplish through scaring the voters to vote against Measure II.
OFFICER: I object to you using the 'scare' word. We are here to enlighten and inform the public through any means necessary.
HOST: Okay. Enlighten then. What message did you hope to enlighten the voters with?
OFFICER: That you vote our way, or don't count on us coming to your house in any rush when crime comes to you or your family's door. In 1999, we didn't make unnecessary arrests because we felt like we had to make some sort of political statement that if you fire white officers especially for killing an NHI...excuse me, Black person, the city will pay.
HOST: Are you aware that the State Attorney General might be paying attention?
OFFICER: That Carpetbagger from the North? Not at all. We're just biding our time until he is gone and then it will be business as usual in the streets of Riverside.
HOST: You know, I can't see why Measure II passed. No I can't.
OFFICER: Me neither. *scratches head* It's those hippy commie free lovin' bastards that are ruinin' our city....
HOST: Tell us a little bit about yourself. About your background. How long have you been a cop?
OFFICER: (pauses) I don't know. All I know is that I opened my eyes, looked down and my hands were tied up with rope.
HOST: Had you been drinking?
OFFICER: No!
HOST: Got yourself into a situation you couldn't handle?
OFFICER: No! I was sent here to send a message. Mess with the RPD cops' right to not be accountable to the public and you won't get a cop at your door when you need one.
HOST: Like that woman who was abducted in her own garage and raped despite triggering her alarm for help, just because she didn't pay the $25 permit fee to the city?
OFFICER: I have no knowlege of that.
HOST: How have response times been since you lost the ballot measure?
OFFICER: I don't know. I'm just here to send a message. You'll have to take it up with my union.
HOST: Would that be the Screen Actors' Guild...Or the international fellowship of computer generated workers?
OFFICER: *SHRUGS*
posted by Five Before Midnight | 5:50 PM
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